"... 43 people were injured, but amazingly no one was killed ..."

So it was said on Minnesota Public Radio this morning, during a story on the Air France accident in Toronto yesterday.  While it’s great news that no lives were lost, the word “amazingly” struck me as odd in the sentence the anchor was reading.  It was as if there was a bit of disappointment in the fact that even though the plane split in half, that there was fire, lightning, rain, panic, and plenty of fodder for the “experts” to be questioned on (I just love our media:  when there are no more facts than have already been presented, fill the time by asking the same questions to one expert/analyst after another, providing them with their 15 minutes of broadcast fame) … no one died.

I’ve always found the English language both intriguing and amusing, and I’m probably picking nits, but since we are a people who are so focused on the words used (in spite of the meaning … or, maybe, because of the potential multiple meanings and our desire to know exactly what was meant), there are other words what would have had less of a “damn, no blood” feeling.  Such as “fortunately”.  Try this:

“… 43 people were injured and, fortunately, no on was killed …”

No “crap, it’s not a horrendous catastrophe” sentiment.  Ok, ok … someone could argue that “fortunately” is “editorialising”.  I’d argue that “amazingly” is just as much editorialising, but in a negative way.

Such is our species:  we’re drawn to catastrophe, and bored by fortune (unless, of course, that fortune comes in the form of a lottery ticket that we are holding).

Reality (TV), the Next Generation

Hell’s Kitchen, one of the latest reality shows (Gordon Ramsay bloody rocks), finished last night.  Not first food reality show (others including “The Restaurant”, “Into the Fire”, and even “Iron Chef”, depending on what you call “reality”).  And it looks like America’s TV food fetish is just beginning, what with the new sitcom Kitchen Confidential starting this fall (both shows on Fox … coincidence?).  I’m curious what Anthony Bourdain thinks of it (though I’d rather see a show based on Tony’s book, but somehow I don’t think it would have made prime time) … but I digress … today’s subject is reality television.

Now, I find reality television as amusing as the next person (when I have/find time to watch it, usually by accident), and I’ve fought like mad to keep from becoming an addict (I will admit that I really got into Rocco DiSpirito’s “The Restaurant” … for awhile, then it I found myself thinking Rocco an arrogant … well, anyway … I’m digressing again) …

… but I’m afraid that I can’t help myself:  I found myself cooking up the next great American reality series:

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Working Title:  Royal Flush

Concept:  One of the greats of Texas Hold’em (Phil Hellmuth, Phil Ivey, Chris Moneymaker) take on a cadre of gambler wannabes from a variety of backgrounds (schoolteacher, truckdriver, computer programmer, priest, etc.), challenging them as they’re taught how to be the next great Hold’em champion.  The last man standing wins a seat at the table at the World Series of Poker.

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Why not?  We’ve had chefs, boxers, bug-eaters, billionaires, executives, sports agents, and Hiltons (to name a few).  Why not poker players?

Just remember: you heard it here first.

Why must everything be "monetized"?

Podcasting has hit the mainstream, due in a major way to Apple’s latest version of iTunes.  And, as has always been the case whenever a technology blooms into the general public awareness, the “experts” are out in full force … interviewing and being interviewed, expounding their expertise and making their predictions.  You pretty much hear it all:

• Podcasting is the next media
• Podcasting is a fad
• Podcasting will kill radio
• Podcasting can cure male pattern baldness

While listening to G’Day World’s podcast with Frank Baranko (On The Pod #40), I keep hearing the same thing:

• Podcasting will be taken over by “the big guys”
• Little (indie) podcasters are being squeezed out
• The little guy will be stomped out
• Unless you can monetize it, you won’t succeed

Granted, this isn’t the first show I’ve heard this take on, but come on, people … open your bloody eyes!  It’s sad that the unwashed masses are so indoctrinated into the mass-market pablum spewing forth today that’s colloquially called “radio and tv” … that “wonderfully interesting, intellectual, challenging” collection of reality shows (how many different ways can you eat bugs?) that all we can think about is “how can I make money from this?”

I don’t get it.

I doubt I ever will.

Yeah! Home Delivery ... Wait ... I have to be home when?

Came home from work to find a flyer (junk mail as a door mat … somehow it seems appropriate).  Wait … it looks like SimonDelivers is finally getting over to this side of the Twin Cities. Excellent!  This is a fantastic concept for the time-constrained:

• Call them or surf their site
• Place your order
• Have it delivered right to your door

Sweet!  Hold it … hmmm … lessee …

• Delivery times are on a weekday between 2 and 4 pm
• No need to be home

Ok, I live in an apartment building.  You mean to tell me that my orders gonna be sitting out by the elevator in the public area until I get back?  Wait … there’s more …

• Groceries are packed with dry/blue ice, items stay fresh for up to 8 hours

“Up to”?  It’s July in Minnesota … one of only two months of the year where the temperature gets above freezing (I may be exaggerating, but it doesn’t seem by flippin’ much).  So … if they’re efficient in the delivery, and the clock starts close to 2, I’ll be down to 2 hours of “fresh time” if I make it back by 6 (which ain’t easy with my current commute).  Note to self, do not order ice cream, mayonnaise, eggs, or anything else that’s hyper-bacterial velcro.

I’m still a little intrigued by the “don’t have to be home” and the “we’ll leave it by the elevator”.  I’ve seen how people handle the phone books (delivered by the stack and parked next to the mailboxes) … you’d swear some folks have a call center in their bathroom with the number of books they cart off.  I wonder how they’re gonna handle something packed in dry ice in a clearly distinguishable SimonDelivers tote bag.

Gonna sit this one out for a bit … see what happens.

'Bout Time ...

... I get this sucker moving again. Sorry, spent the last week trying to get several different projects tied off. Moving sites around, consolidating stuff (it's amazing how much crap I've got strung out all over the internet ... guess that makes me a "digital packrat" ... or a "byte-rat" ... something like that).

I should have life back to normal again this week.